I can foresee the future

It sounds crazy at times.

Sometimes it’s quite bizarre because I can be talking about a random thing right now, and somehow a real life event occurs — just as I said them. Weird.

And I guess it’s a lot mysterious because I cannot foresee my future at all. I cannot even visualize myself in the future..how will I live..how I will be..my closest future plans.. I don’t know. I can’t see them.

But then it occurred to me. What if I cannot see myself there because I am simply not there and that I won’t be there?

I’m meant to be stressed and hurt all the time currently not for the future me. She probably simply does not exist nor will not exist.

Maybe I’m just meant to live a short life enduring all these, and I am not meant to taste what it’s like to be chosen and loved properly, because I am the proper love that I give to others. I can simply not co-exist with the same thing that I hope others would give me. Because probably in this life, I am a part of a lesson. For me or for others. 

But that’s the beauty of being ephemeral. You don’t have to endure living for ever.