Drying his hair, it was still dripping wet from the shower. His Spotify playlist was still blasting from one corner of the bathroom counter. This will do then, he thought as he ran his fingers through now slightly damped strands. His blasting phone speaker suddenly went quiet, and for a few seconds, he waited as he assumed that he was receiving a phone call. 

I knew I heard this voice before, but...He pondered for a while. Oh, snap! "Is that you, little girl?"

She chuckled from the other side of the line before confirming, "yes, Adrian. It's me."

A smile formed up slightly automatically, he couldn't help it. Who would have thought this little introvert would call first? He was making his way towards the edge of the bed, sitting down. "Are you busy tonight?" She began. 

"Hm, not really." He furrowed his brows, "why do you ask?"

"Are you up for a little hangout with a quiet person tonight?" She ended the line with a humourless laugh. "With you?" 

"Yes..With me. Just a casual one, sitting on a rooftop or something?"

He was quiet for a moment. "Let's go."

"Yay! Let's goo." 

He chuckled, "I'll see you in an hour." 

She was half prepared about this, especially about meeting him for the first time, late in the evening because she did everything almost impulsively tonight. But half, because she was carrying a bag full of snacks and take-outs for the casual late-night picnic. Impulsive plans at their finest?

Not too long later he arrived in his black car at the train station, noticing the petite girl in her brown plaid jacket that looked big but fit perfectly as outerwear at this hour. She matched the look with a black turtleneck and blue jeans. She looked different in real life but he recognized her eyes and her hair that pulled up in a messy bun. He rolled down the window to wave at her and she noticed him instantly. As soon as she got into the car she was immediately swarmed by his scent. I'm going to remember this forever. He noticed her little reactions, those little heaving on her chest while her head slightly tilted back, trying to drink in the car perfume. 

He resumed driving towards the nearest tall building, taking up the staircase to the rooftop. It was 10 p.m., every retail shop was closed by then. But God knew what was in her little head. But he hardly complained because it was good enough that she finally decided to come out of her bedroom. They talked and joked about things, and he found her smoothly saying cheezy stuff and crazy puns but they cracked a smile on both of their faces. 

As they reached the top of the building, she began staring into the dark night sky in awe. She felt almost everything escape her soul, she felt a sense of freedom and he couldn't miss the wide smile on her face and the way her eyes lit up. To be honest, nothing very hedonistic about this but she grinned as if it was the best thing ever. Unlike her, he seeks pleasure in a form of extreme hobbies, but to her, it was the little things. Or maybe she should go out more. She carefully observed the floor and began sitting to place the food she brought along neatly. He followed her suit and sat crossed legged, facing her. 

To be honest, he has known her for some time now but it felt as though he didn't know her at all. What was on her mind? What's with the sudden outburst of energy radiating off her quiet form? She appeared very quiet but it was like she was screaming so loud. He didn't know this girl at all. He couldn't expect what was running in her mind but she seemed like she was having fun, she didn't feel annoyed when he talked and asked questions frequently. But he mostly wondered what made her call him tonight? She never told him the reasons, they casually talked, cracking jokes smoothly without caring that they were practically strangers and that he could turn out to be a total psychopath who would kidnap her and slash her skin. Not that he would ever do that, no. He choked on his drink when he noticed those red lines on her arm when the long sleeve slightly exposed her skin — as if muting all of his thoughts. He was still thinking quietly, but this time he was trying to find her eyes. 

She looked perfectly fine, with no crying lines under her eyes. Almost instantly he became alarmed about the situation they were in. That rooftop, late at night, her casual planning in a quiet lonely night. He had to bite his tongue from blurting out the question he has been dying to ask but she looked happy. It made him almost sad. Talk to me about it, sweetie. 

"Never, in my wildest dream have I ever thought a night like this would occur." She said while taking a bite of her food. His heartbeat quickened.

"Adrian?" 

"Mhm?" He finally looked up to her. "I was talking to you just now.." She pouted.

"Tell me about the night, sweetie," he pried, making a small smile on his lips.

She sat up straight, looking at him shyly, "a night like this," she held his eyes for a moment before trailing them and casting them towards the floor. "The one that I called, just to hang out with you."

He chuckled, shaking off the remaining dark thoughts he thought she had. "Me too. You wouldn't text me first. Let alone giving a phone call and meeting me." 

"Well I may be thattt, but I promise, everyone else said I am full of surprises!" She retorted. 

"Tell me, who said that about you darling? How many of them?"

Her brows were knitted together now, but she looked so embarrassed. "One—BUT still, don't underestimate my ability to be one," she huffed, pathetically trying to stand up for herself. 

"You sure are," he said with a small teasing smirk. Then a little laugh escaped from his lips. He was 50% serious and 50% teasing her. But he had a fair knowledge about that characteristic of hers. She said she won't do it but that was what she did when people least expected it. 

Teasing her gave him satisfaction but what she said next made his heart stop beating for a while. "Let's sit over there, Adrian." Pointing out towards the edge of the rooftop. There was an obvious horrified look on his face but she understood them. After all, he knew her. That ideation. But she was not thinking of doing anything that night. 

"Let's not," Adrian said firmly, locking his eyes with hers. He captured her desperate look in her eyes for a brief moment, but it was so fast that now it turned into a playful plea. "I've always wanted to do this, please. It was aesthetically pleasing to watch cool kids sitting over there on the Internet. I wanna know how that feels too." 

He didn't reply. But she eagerly stood up, moving to his side and trying to pull him out. "Come on Adrian! Maybe this could be another thing that I can write about in my book!" She beamed excitedly. His eyes softened slightly but he let her pull him up anyway. "Ooff," she huffed, "why are you heavy?"

"You're so crazy," he said, utterly annoyed now. "Don't you dare do stupid stuff over there!" He warned while throwing a finger to point towards that direction." She cowered a little but she agreed not to. He took her hand and firmly interlocked fingers with her, just in case she had a crazy idea next.

They carefully sat on the edge of the building. Her hand was still in his and she let herself relax beside him despite feeling scared from the height. From where she was sitting, she could see the city lights beaming, some cars were still moving like tiny little ants. She felt okay. A little euphoric. She kinda wanted to scream and laugh because she felt so happy, so, so free. She hummed a little to get immersed in that feeling — jump! Her eyes flew open. Jump! It said again. 

Adrian caught this. He caught the affective transition in her face. She looked like a deer in the headlights, utterly mortified, like she nearly burst her tears. "Hey, hey, what are you thinking now?" He tried to turn her to face him.

She shook her head, while lowering them and now facing towards the endless height from where she was sitting. It was too high. Jump! She feared her own mind. This is the only time. Jump! No! Don't miss out on this chance again. NO! Why do I carry on by the way? I did almost everything like other people, they genuinely felt happy but why do I end up feeling dead again and again? The pulling feeling is back. I know so well I couldn't stop it regardless of anything. Why did I feel it ever since I was so young?

"LOOK AT ME!" Adrian bellowed, his eyes widened. They were terrified, so terrified. She looked like she was nearly falling down. "God, look at me, please!" He begged, forcing her to face him fully now since he captured her attention. Her eyes were fresh with tears. He understood that. This was truly not safe at all. Not for her. Not now. She may joke a lot about it but she could mean them any time. And I just would not be able to tell when is which. 

"Let's get you out of this place first okay? Stay with me, hold my hand." But it was more of an order. The truth was he looked mortified for every passing second they sat by that edge. She could change her mind at any time. He instructed her all that, but in the end, he strengthen the lock between their fingers.

He didn't believe her.

As soon as he settled his feet on the ground, she took advantage of their clammy hands now and tried to loosen the grip, to let herself go. Everything happened too fast but he was alarmed with her every movement. 

A little slip.

But he frantically captured her hand over the edge again. "FUCK, FUCK!"

"Come here, I got you!" He was practically screaming now.

She was staring up at him with the dark sky hovering over him. But her eyes were glassy. She shook her head firmly. "Fuck, oh my god, just listen to me now. Please. Climb up here with me."

"Please, Adrian. Please let me go."

"Don't fucking say that! Dude, you promised me...Don't do this stupid thing. I BEG YOU!" 

His voice was louder each time he spoke now. Neither of them cared, and they were all alone. Their grip was threatening to get loose. "Please just let me go! I wouldn't..want...anything." She sobbed. "I wouldn't want anything else. Let me go."

He began to get frantic now and he tried to think clearly. Fuck! "WHY IS THERE NO ONE HERE?!" 

"LORD! Hold onto me! Grip on my hand tighter now! I'll pull you up." His frantic thoughts were so loud and his heart was beating too hard, but he sucked on a lungful of air before trying to reach on the other side of her shoulder before forcefully pulling her up. 

Almost there. Hold onto me now, little one. "Hold on to me little girl. You're almost here now." He muttered more to himself. 

A few drops of tears betrayed his eyes. Just hold me like this, don't let go. Just a little more now. He grunted as he struggled to pull her helpless form. She was a little heavy, and extremely difficult to persuade.

But she saw his eyes, they were desperate for her too. In that frantic moment, she finally gripped his arm higher, enabling him to pull her closer to him. He kept on dragging her petite form up against the tall building wall until he successfully set her on the floor further away from the edge of the building. 

He huffed forcefully and his terror turned into a fit of abrupt anger. "What the fuck were you thinking?!" He shoved her a little. She let herself budge backwards, that was all I ever wanted. Her little form curled as she let her head hang lowly, arms hugging her own body. He noticed her sobbing. It sounded so painful. He could never understand why anyone would want to end their life when there's a lot, the life could offer. Her muffled sob sounded so heavy and it was almost unbearable to see her this way as if everything around her came crashing down...since I saved her. Was that her definition of freedom?

In her mind everything else replayed all over again, she remembered too well that feeling. She remembered every fucked up massive thing she had done. She remembered how she became suicidal years before. She remembered every little thing people said to her, every little detail done towards her, every misery she had, every wasting second she experienced while trying to make herself believe that she was worth all that — family, friends, lecturers, God, a good sister. She didn't deserve any of that. She didn't deserve the friends that ever tried to keep her alive. So why?!

Her ears picked up on his heavy steps towards her. Slowly, and carefully, he pulled her towards his chest, wrapping his arms around her body comfortingly. Adrenaline. She could feel his heartbeat. For someone who wanted to kill hers, she found comfort in feeling his — alive and beating. "I don't know every internal condition that you experience," slowly, he formed his words slowly and carefully. "— and I don't know if I can ever understand them; but when our hands nearly slipped earlier, it was almost like my heart stopped beating, I felt like I could have died right there and then if I had let you slip away from my grip."

He paused, taking deep breaths. Seeing that happened and talking about it.. It felt excruciating.

He continued on using the same heartbreaking voice, "Nothing else helped me back there, but I kept on holding on because I didn't want what was in front of me to disappear. So I hang tight, and I held her close like this," he tightened up the embrace, "— to my chest." His quiet voice slowly mumbled against her hair. He knew she could hear him talking, and she clearly understood what he meant. Figuratively, that was what. 

"Count on your little blessing, little one. If everything in your world feels like reaching the end, trust me, that's a new beginning for you. I want you to live on and experience to the fullest your every beginning. Okay?"