I have lost most part of myself.

So much.

It feels like nothing like I am nobody,

And that's how it hurts me greatly. 

I remembered 5 years ago, although I was lost I had a few ideas about myself.

Now I barely have any. 

I long to be the person I was before, the person who was so passionate, so in love with her mind, so in love with her writing, so in love with herself, so appropriate and in control. 

If I manage to give a clear view of myself as for this present moment; myself - an utterly dark entity, black, not with a black cloak draping down my figure - just me with no colours. 

Even if I can find myself and reach out to her hand to pull her out from drowning in the sea, it would take years. It would take, heck, probably over a decade to find myself back again, to build myself again. Somehow, maybe this is my reincarnation?