Waking up feeling like a betrayer to the eyes, to which had spent this night with nothing but just weep till sleeping consume me. Sleeping makes me forget about what it feels like and it stops the pain but as soon as it's over, I have to deal with it as it nags on my skins, shredding myself off, leaving me feel bare and make me feel the old feeling that I had ignored for as long as I remember.

I had forgotten that I shouldn't be laying down as I cry, but it has tire my eyes out and I had to let myself fall into a dreamless sleep. I don't know how do I go to school this morning with these eyes that makes me look extra ugly. It's such a bad timing to choose this time to make me burst into tears even after me trying to shut down the bad thoughts from engulfing me. I tried to seal my lips from bringing up about this, but I can't take it any longer. The voices are just there, they keep on taunting me down, make me despise my entire existence and everything that has to do with me.

The society that I live in didn't help me either, no matter how much I tried to avoid the negative vibe. But people are just there. They are everywhere to remind me who I am and what do they see in me.

I sound so helpless. But I tried. I really did. But it tears everything inside me knowing the fact that they make me feel bad about my existence and not having to feel what it's like to be brought down that way. Depression is a real disease that doesn't have a cure. But with this kind of surrounding, I don't think it will ever help either. But just so you know, that I actually tried to liven up, to ignore it. However, I lost in this battle. I'm sorry that I just can't..